Phillip hath soiled the air?

Some nice Shat after a hard week

A little Shat "me time", perhaps. Or some Shat Sociology (Shatology, but not to be confused with the anal bleaching link below)?

Give the guy credit for a sense of humor.

Spock sings

A catchy melody.

MD-politicos

* Bashar Al-Assad - President of Syria
* Ibrahim Al-Jaafari - Prime minister of Iraq
* Iyad Allawi - interim Prime Minister of Iraq
* Salvador Allende (1908–1973) - Chilean president
* Emilio Alvarez Montalván - Foreign Minister of Nicaragua
* Arnulfo Arias - Panaman President
* Michelle Bachelet - Current Chilean President
* Hastings Kamuzu Banda (1898–1997) - Prime Minister, President and later dictator of Malawi
* Louis Blanqui - French revolutionary socialist
* Frederick William Borden - Canadian MP and minister of the Militia
* Bob Brown - parliamentry leader of the Australian Greens
* Gro Harlem Brundtland (born 1939) - first Norwegian female prime minister and Director-General of the World Health Organization
* Georges Clemenceau (1841–1929) - French statesman
* Margaret Chan - Director General of the WHO and former Director of Health of Hong Kong
* York Chow - Secretary for Health, Welfare and Food of Hong Kong
* Tom Coburn (born 1948) - U.S. Senator
* Howard Dean (born 1948) - American politician
* François Duvalier (1907–1971) - also known as Papa Doc - President and later dictator of Haiti
* Antônio Palocci Filho - Brazilian politician, Finance Minister
* Christian Friedrich, Baron von Stockmar - Anglo-Belgian statesman
* Bill Frist (born 1952) - United States Senate Majority Leader
* Hedy Fry (born 1941) - Canadian politician, member of parliament
* Che Guevara Latin American revolutionary leader
* George Habash - founder of the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine
* John Pope Hennessy - former Governor of Hong Kong
* Grant Hill (politician) - former Canadian MP
* Wilbert Keon - Canadian senator
* Mohammad Reza Khatami - Iranian politician
* Juscelino Kubitscheck - Brazilian president
* Jean-Paul Marat - French revolution leader
* Keith Martin - Portuguese Canadian MP
* William McGuigan - mayor of Vancouver, British Columbia
* Mahathir bin Mohamad - Malaysian prime minister
* Brendon Nelson - Australian politician
* Agostinho Neto (1922–1979) - MPLA leader and president of Angola
* David Owen - British politician
* Ron Paul (born 1935) - American politician
* Andrew Refshauge - Australian politician
* Navin Ramgoolam - Prime minister of Mauritius
* Maxime Ferrari - Minister for Development Seychelles
* José Rizal (1861–1896) - Filipino revolutionary and national hero
* Théodore Robitaille - Lieutenant Governor of Quebec, Quebec MNA and Senator
* Bidhan Chandra Roy - Indian politician
* Hélio de Oliveira Santos - Brazilian politician, mayor of Campinas
* Tabaré Vázquez - Current Uruguayan President
* Bette Stephenson - Ontario MPP and former Minister of Labour, Minister of Education and Minister of Colleges and Universities
* Sun Yat-Sen (1866–1925) - Founder of republican China
* Donald Matheson Sutherland - MP and former minister of National Defence
* Sir Charles Tupper (1821–1915) - Prime Minister of Canada (1896) and Premier of Nova Scotia (1864–1867); High Commissioner in Great Britain (1884-1887)
* Ali Akbar Velayati (born 1945) - Iranian Foreign Minister from 1981 to 1997.
* William Walker (soldier) (1824–1860) - ruler of Nicaragua
* Dave Weldon - US congressman and autism activist
* Ray Lyman Wilbur (1875–1949) - United States Secretary of the Interior, president of Stanford University
* Thomas Wynne (1627–1691) - Physician to William Penn, speaker of the first two Provincial Assemblies in Philadelphia (1687 & 1688)
* Yeoh Eng-kiong - former Secretary for Health and Welfare of Hong Kong

The joys of Plastic Surgery

People train for a decade to do this? Talk about a niche industry. No wonder the Islamists think we're corrupt.

Beware, not for the faint of heart: Village Voice, YouTube.

Hump Day Shat

Bill covers Joe Jackson and Mr E John (aka Reggie). This is beyond Art.

First oysters and now cannibalism?

Please add to ToyC reading list. (More lists at the bottom.) Courtesy of MW.

Nappy 'taches

Weird to think all these guys are dead.

Perhaps a reason Joyce did not finish his medical studies?

"What quality did it (his hand) possess but with what counteracting influence?

The operative surgical quality but that he was reluctant to shed human blood even when the end justified the means, preferring, in their natural order, heliotherapy, psychophysicotherapeutics, osteopathic surgery."

That which is in the New (old) River

A writer should never write about the extraordinary. That is for the journalist.
--James Joyce

Did it flow?

Yes. From Roundwood reservoir in county Wicklow of a cubic capacity of 2400 million gallons, percolating through a subterranean aqueduct of filter mains of single and double pipeage constructed at an initial plant cost of £5 per linear yard by way of the Dargle, Rathdown, Glen of the Downs and Callowhill to the 26 acre reservoir at Stillorgan, a distance of 22 statute miles, and thence, through a system of relieving tanks, by a gradient of 250 feet to the city boundary at Eustace bridge, upper Leeson street, though from prolonged summer drouth and daily supply of 12 1/2 million gallons the water had fallen below the sill of the overflow weir for which reason the borough surveyor and waterworks engineer, Mr Spencer Harty, C. E., on the instructions of the waterworks committee had prohibited the use of municipal water for purposes other than those of consumption (envisaging the possibility of recourse being had to the impotable water of the Grand and Royal canals as in 1893) particularly as the South Dublin Guardians, notwithstanding their ration of 15 gallons per day per pauper supplied through a 6 inch meter, had been convicted of a wastage of 20,000 gallons per night by a reading of their meter on the affirmation of the law agent of the corporation, Mr Ignatius Rice, solicitor, thereby acting to the detriment of another section of the public, selfsupporting taxpayers, solvent, sound.

What in water did Bloom, waterlover, drawer of water, watercarrier, returning to the range, admire?

Its universality: its democratic equality and constancy to its nature in seeking its own level: its vastness in the ocean of Mercator’s projection: its unplumbed profundity in the Sundam trench of the Pacific exceeding 8000 fathoms: the restlessness of its waves and surface particles visiting in turn all points of its seaboard: the independence of its units: the variability of states of sea: its hydrostatic quiescence in calm: its hydrokinetic turgidity in neap and spring tides: its subsidence after devastation: its sterility in the circumpolar icecaps, arctic and antarctic: its climatic and commercial significance: its preponderance of 3 to 1 over the dry land of the globe: its indisputable hegemony extending in square leagues over all the region below the subequatorial tropic of Capricorn: the multisecular stability of its primeval basin: its luteofulvous bed: its capacity to dissolve and hold in solution all soluble substances including millions of tons of the most precious metals: its slow erosions of peninsulas and islands, its persistent formation of homothetic islands, peninsulas and downwardtending promontories: its alluvial deposits: its weight and volume and density: its imperturbability in lagoons and highland tarns: its gradation of colours in the torrid and temperate and frigid zones: its vehicular ramifications in continental lakecontained streams and confluent oceanflowing rivers with their tributaries and transoceanic currents, gulfstream, north and south equatorial courses: its violence in seaquakes, waterspouts, Artesian wells, eruptions, torrents, eddies, freshets, spates, groundswells, watersheds, waterpartings, geysers, cataracts, whirlpools, maelstroms, inundations, deluges, cloudbursts: its vast circumterrestrial ahorizontal curve: its secrecy in springs and latent humidity, revealed by rhabdomantic or hygrometric instruments and exemplified by the well by the hole in the wall at Ashtown gate, saturation of air, distillation of dew: the simplicity of its composition, two constituent parts of hydrogen with one constituent part of oxygen: its healing virtues: its buoyancy in the waters of the Dead Sea: its persevering penetrativeness in runnels, gullies, inadequate dams, leaks on shipboard: its properties for cleansing, quenching thirst and fire, nourishing vegetation: its infallibility as paradigm and paragon: its metamorphoses as vapour, mist, cloud, rain, sleet, snow, hail: its strength in rigid hydrants: its variety of forms in loughs and bays and gulfs and bights and guts and lagoons and atolls and archipelagos and sounds and fjords and minches and tidal estuaries and arms of sea: its solidity in glaciers, icebergs, icefloes: its docility in working hydraulic millwheels, turbines, dynamos, electric power stations, bleachworks, tanneries, scutchmills: its utility in canals, rivers, if navigable, floating and graving docks: its potentiality derivable from harnessed tides or watercourses falling from level to level: its submarine fauna and flora (anacoustic, photophobe), numerically, if not literally, the inhabitants of the globe: its ubiquity as constituting 90 percent of the human body: the noxiousness of its effluvia in lacustrine marshes, pestilential fens, faded flowerwater, stagnant pools in the waning moon.

Even though it's not (Two-fer) Tuesday

Some Shat Funk, just to get things started right.

Fridays are reserved for The Shat

Round 1 of Shat genius. To boldly go to the edge of the ridiculous and the infinity of the sublime. (The diamond-encrusted skull is yours for $8 mill, btw.)

The (not so) New River starts in NC

Despite its name, the river is considered by some geologists to be possibly one of the oldest rivers in the world, between 10 million and 360 million years old. According to local folklore, it is considered to be second in age only to the Nile River and thus the oldest in North America. However, the ages of rivers are very difficult to establish with precision; as the wide range of possible ages for the New River demonstrates, there is no established ranking of the ages of major rivers. The New River flows in a generally south to north course, which is against the southwest to northeast topology of the Appalachian Mountains and the west to east flow of most other nearby major rivers especially in Virginia and North Carolina. This peculiarity may mean that the New River's formation preceded much of the surrounding landscape, although again this hypothesis has not been proven beyond doubt.

Henceforth, the Official Sport of TOyC

Why, Catfish Noodling, of course. (Not recommended for persons who use their hands for a living.)

Billroth and Brahms

Nice program if you like music. o/w it may remind you of a filmstrip in junior high history class.

Like A Surgeon

Sort of like the Madonna/Weird Al song. But not quite. Link here.

TOyC, Leading the Way

An excellent way to start the day.

Kind of like a blog?

Sheer brilliance, or just a waste of time?

State Dog of NC

As the citizens of Pine Nut, NC know, it is the Plott Hound.

Proof of A Plan?

So perhaps the evolutionary deadend of our "ordinary channels", do, in fact, have a purpose. Think of it as a "germ purse". Instead of probiotic yogurt one could market the essence of the vermiform as "Creme d'la Colon" or as "appendix juice" (apologies to Michael Jackson) as a means of getting one's "good bacteria"

A little more highbrow

The Surgeon at 2 A.M.
(Sylvia Plath)

The white light is artificial, and hygienic as heaven.
The microbes cannot survive it.
They are departing in their transparent garments, turned aside
From the scalpels and the rubber hands.
The scalded sheet is a snowfield, frozen and peaceful.
The body under it is in my hands.
As usual there is no face. A lump of Chinese white
With seven holes thumbed in. The soul is another light.
I have not seen it; it does not fly up.
Tonight it has receded like a ship's light.

It is a garden I have to do with --- tubers and fruit
Oozing their jammy substances,
A mat of roots. My assistants hook them back.
Stenches and colors assail me.
This is the lung-tree.
These orchids are splendid. They spot and coil like snakes.
The heart is a red bell-bloom, in distress.
I am so small
In comparison to these organs!
I worm and hack in a purple wilderness.

The blood is a sunset. I admire it.
I am up to my elbows in it, red and squeaking.
Still is seeps me up, it is not exhausted.
So magical! A hot spring
I must seal off and let fill
The intricate, blue piping under this pale marble.
How I admire the Romans ---
Aqeducts, the Baths of Caracella, the eagle nose!
The body is a Roman thing.
It has shut its mouth on the stone pill of repose.

It is a statue the orderlies are wheeling off.
I have perfected it.
I am left with and arm or a leg,
A set of teeth, or stones
To rattle in a bottle and take home,
And tissues in slices--a pathological salami.
Tonight the parts are entombed in an icebox.
Tomorrow they will swim
In vinegar like saints' relics.
Tomorrow the patient will have a clean, pink plastic limb.

Over one bed in the ward, a small blue light
Announces a new soul. The bed is blue.
Tonight, for this person, blue is a beautiful color.
The angels of morphia have borne him up.
He floats an inch from the ceiling,
Smelling the dawn drafts.
I walk among sleepers in gauze sarcophagi.
The red night lights are flat moons. They are dull with blood.
I am the sun, in my white coat,
Grey faces, shuttered by drugs, follow me like flowers.

The Pros from Dover

the pros from Dover

Posted by R Paisley on March 09, 2004
The pros from Dover is an American slang term for outside consultants who are brought into a business to troubleshoot and solve problems. The term comes from the 1968 book M*A*S*H by Richard Hooker. In the book, the character Hawkeye is described as using the guise of being the pro from Dover to obtain free entrance to golf courses:

[Hawkeye] would walk confidently into a pro shop, smile, comment upon the nice condition of the course, explain that he was just passing through and that he was Joe, Dave or Jack Somebody, the pro from Dover. This resulted, about eight times out of ten, in an invitation to play for free. If forced into conversation, he became the pro from Dover, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, New Jersey, England, Ohio, Delaware, Tennessee, or Dover-Foxcroft, Maine, whichever seemed safest.
Later on in the book, when Hawkeye and fellow surgeon Trapper are called from Korea to Tokyo to perform surgery on a congressman's son, the following exchange takes place:

'All right,' Trapper said. 'Somebody trot out the latest pictures of this kid with the shell fragment in his chest.'
"No one moved.
"'Snap it up!' yelled Hawkeye. 'We're the pros from Dover, and the last pictures we saw must be forty-eight hours old by now.'
This latter exchange is repeated in the 1970 movie, but the term pros from Dover is not explained in the script. People who had seen the movie, but not read the book, started using the phrase to mean outside experts/consultants without understanding that Hawkeye was using the term facetiously, referring to an old con he used to run.

...yet more philological discussion....

I'm the pro from Dover and this
: is my favorite caddie.

:
: Look, Mother. I want to go to
: work in one hour. We're the pros
: from Dover and we figure to crack
: that kid's chest and get out to
: the golf course before it's dark.

: He's the pro from Dover and I'm
: the Ghost of Smokey Joe.

: Don't give them any unnecessary
: details. Just say the pros from
: Dover are on their way with an
: emergency.

In the UK Prostitutes are knows as Pros. Hence Pros from Dover may originate from this fact, Dover is a port and where there were sailors there did you also find Pros - lots of pros.

Minn Blue?

Mini blue?...Meng blue?...Minn blue?

Ephemera, esoterica and other curiosities

A terribly wonderful waste of time. Like poking around an old store in Chinatown.

Badger

Hope this isn't too low brow for the Oyster Club - just saw a new Badger commercial (maybe better than "Ming Blue", but couldn't find it on YouTube) but here are some good ones:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGJdNPiWZzQ

and, "he's trying to rob me":

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9F1z21G2J8

You Asked For It

Halloween Ephemera at its finest!

TOyC Manifesto

The Oyster Club shall be all-inclusive (notice the leering little old lady in the back with the cat). It shall respect women. The consumption of oysters shall be either plain or with Tabasco only. And chased only with ice-cold beer. Cigar smoking and dancing will be tolerated though not encouraged. Conversation can be earthy as long at it is erudite. Political or religious discourse must be reasoned and respectful. Dogs shall be welcome.

Harvey's?

Perhaps the finest beer in all the realm.

Though here in the colonies, the ale makers in little Farmville, NC make a tasty brew.

For Halloween

http://www.snopes.com/horrors/mayhem/blackcat.asp

Rules, sort of

1. Henceforth, Wit shall be the coin of the realm.
2. The bar shall ALWAYS be open at The Club, and will serve only whisky, bourbon, Flor de Cana rum, dry martinis, Harvey's bitter and Schweppes' club soda.
3. The Club jukebox will contain only Stones songs.
4. Curiosity, honest open inquiry and free-thinking shall be encouraged.
5. Shampoo is to be used properly.
6. Should The Oyster Club ever meet someday as a group, the secret handshake will be operational.
7. No orphan posts. After human language, blogommentary is the rock upon which social networking, nay, civilization itself rests.